Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I Do Not Love You Anymore

Yesterday, my six year old daughter and I had a little "situation." And no, we didn't invite that D-bag from Jersey Shore over for a tea party.

Nope, we just had a good old fashioned fight. She has been resisting any kind of organized activity since...I don't know, birth. She doesn't like dance, she doesn't like gymnastics, she now doesn't like her cheerleading class. She won't so much as look at a soccer ball or a tennis racket. I've had that sit-down talk with her so many times, you know, the one where you explain how it's good to keep trying, sticking with it, pushing past the hard work, etc. But God bless her, she has her own mind, her own desires, her own ideas!

So, I told her she could sit in her room all afternoon until dinner, or she could get dressed and get in the car, "because we are going to be late...again!" She slammed her door extra hard to make sure I knew just how she felt about her options. Uh yeah, I got the memo.

Turns out I didn't get the memo. A half an hour later I was walking past her room and saw a note on the floor. I picked it up. Here is the real memo:

"To: Mom...I do not love you anymore!" -- This is all decorated with tears, sad faces, rain, a broken heart, and exclamation points.

My first reaction was: this girl is creative! I got to get her in an art class, or theater, or get her in a story writing class (if it exists for Kindergartners) or something!

Funny how life works! And funny how she's a lot more like me than I care to admit...

Anybody got one of these "situations?"


  1. Oh Jessie. That made me laugh out loud. It seems that the kids who are just like us are the ones we fight with the most. Good luck! :)

  2. My daughter, who is more like me than I care to think about, can really push my buttons. She's won't be two for a couple weeks but she does EVERYTHING on her own schedule, in her own way. It drives me nuts, but I'm trying to get used to it because I know it will be like this all her life. I'm sure we'll have some of those "situations" in time.

  3. We put my oldest in soccer and baseball. While he has the natural talent to excel, he would prefer to sit on the couch and play video games or go the library with me. I didn't enroll him in soccer this spring or anything else-gasp. I felt like a loser mom, but I have come to terms with the fact that my son is indeed like his mother. But my husband is going to do archery with him. So that should get him out of the house.

  4. Hahaha! I love your reaction to the note. My daughter is kind of the opposite-- she wants to sign up for EVERYTHING. (Summers usually include gymnastics, soccer, art classes, football, basketball, tennis, swim lessons, kid fit, activity days, and volleyball. I'm not kidding.) But as much as she begs and begs for me to sign her up for everything under the sun, if it isn't soccer or football, she loses interest about every other week. Sigh.

  5. I don't have one of these situations, but I was one of these situations. I didn't find my passion until my mid-twenties. Don't worry, she'll get there too :)

  6. I have a 6 year-old-granddaugher who participates in soccer, and she was in dance last year, and will go back to dance this September, because that's what she likes best. Even though she participates in these things, she has to be pushed and shoved out the door to get her there on time. Not sure what it means overall, but it shows that kids are different. They have a different schedule from adults.

  7. I don't have kids, but I have to say that you sound like an awesome mom!

    I wanted to have swim lessons, gymnastics, etc., etc., but my parents didn't have the money.

    Perhaps if your daughter is allowed to stop then she'll miss it? All her school friends will be busy doing things and she won't be.

    But, as I say, I don't have kids and so I really don't know what I'm talking about.

    I'll be thinking about you and your daughter.


  8. My kids are the opposite. They never give anything up. We've run out of days to fit everything in.

  9. LOTS of those situations. I have a daughter just like that :-D I keep telling myself that her stubborn nature will also work in her favor . . . eventually

  10. ha ha ha ha ha!
    i do not envy you the future head games you face!
    boys are hot or cold, no wondering involved... yes, we have our days as i have 2 in puberty (disgusting! dont get me stah-ted!)

  11. Too funny - love the memo tie in, very clever. I LOVE a girl who knows what she wants! She will soon figure out how to get what she wants too. Independent thinkers, even at 6 years old, are fabulous! Nice job, Mom. Besides, it is ALWAYS funny when it is someone else's kid.

  12. Oh man, I remember these fazes when I was young. I've actually had this conversation with a really good friend of mine who insisted on not participating when she was young and eventually her parents said okay. To this day she wishes they would have kept forcing her to go.

    My sister was this way too. But if my dad got out there with her, stood on the sidelines at practice or coached her teams she loved going.

    I would give up on her. She doesn't actually know what she wants ;)

  13. Oh that's hilarious! I'm pretty sure I did the same thing to my mom. I guess that means my daughter is going to be a lot like me then huh? ;)

  14. We should trade 6 year olds. Mine LOVES everything :) I could totally get behind a no-structured activity kid!

  15. Hi, Jessie.

    My daughter is eight and she is my only child.

    Last winter, I went with my husband to the annual holiday dinner for his work. I'm a reader, a writer and a fairly quiet, mellow girl. I secretly got a kick out of the admin assist who organized the very nice meal calling the appetizers 'kinapes.' I almost corrected her in secret but just didn't know her well enough to do it.

    In any event, for drinks before the meal, I was seated next to a whippet-thin woman with bright eyes and an engaging voice. She was telling me about how her children -- a thirteen-year-old girl and a nine-year-old boy -- were involved in gymnastics, horseback riding, fencing, guitar, piano and flute lessons and some sort of ceramics class. She worked part-time on a fund-raising committee for a large, cancer-treatment facility. When she asked me what I did, I told her I was a stay-at-home mom.

    'How many kids?'

    'One. She's seven.' (Eight,now.)

    'What is she involved in?'

    'She took gymnastics last summer. We're saving up to get her a piano to start lessons in the spring.'

    She blinked a few times.

    'Oh, well you keep busy. You know, with the gymnastics, and all. You're busy.'

    I smiled. I'm not busy. I bring my daughter home, we sit down and do homework, review her spelling words, talk. Sometimes she invites a friend over from down the street. She has piano on Wednesdays, we go have free pie with our dinner at Village Inn with her dad and then come home and watch American Idol. And vote.

    Sometimes, my daughter has enough time to get bored. When she does, she writes stories, draws and constructs enormous play lands made of furniture light enough for her to move, blankets, her toys and every throw pillow in the house. Do we bicker? Hell, yeah, we bicker. I tell her fifty times in the morning to brush her teeth and put her shoes and socks on. Fifty times at night to get into the shower and quit wasting all that water while she zooms about the bathroom in her birthday suit dancing in front of the mirror.

    I guess all I'm saying is don't succumb to pressures that make you feel like you're somehow not measuring up as a parent if your girl isn't a renaissance woman before she fits into a training bra. Those pressures are real. But some of them are better off just tossed in a bin.

    Nice to meet you, too.

    1. Love your comment. There's a reason I'm a stay at home mom and it's not so they can be too busy to spend time with me. While there are benefits to activities and trying new things there are benefits to just being a kid.

  16. I loved reading this because it was so very real! How adorable! The arts might just be the place for her. BTW, I picture her being a gorgeous little thing, just like her mommy. Be sure to keep us posted. :)

  17. Awww, so sweet! How are things today? I'm sure she's let you know she loves you bunches. Thanks for sharing. I remember the days. =D

  18. turning pain into pearls is the mark of an artistic soul!

  19. Not quite as cute as that, but I'm sure those will come when the littlens grow some more. I never really got into sports and physical social stuff as a kid either, but I found swimming eventually. :)

  20. I love this. My kids are still young enough that Mommy is a hero most of the time.

    My youngest just informs me when she gets angry that she is not my friend anymore. (And I've been guilty of saying back: good, I'm not supposed to be your friend, I'm your MOM.) I think we have some fun years coming up.