Monday, February 18, 2013

LTUE Conference & Getting Picked Up in Beaver


This last weekend I attended the LTUE Conference (Life, the Universe, and Everything) in Provo, Utah. It was pretty sweet. I got to hang with some awesome writers, and meet some new amazing ones. There were tons of noteworthy moments while participating in the three day conference (men in capes, strange smells, dancing to Justin Bieber with a Yukon XL full of normally introverted writers, and listening to Megan Whalen Turner's keynote speech while my friend draws explicit images on the suede of my Ugg boots).

But I have to say the highlight of my weekend happened a few hours before the conference even started, while I was still driving the six hours from Las Vegas to Provo. Half way through the trip I needed to pull over and get some caffeine. I was getting tired and a bit hungry, and could use some stretching of the legs. So I go into the convenience store, get myself some Diet Cokey, and start wandering around aimlessly for something healthy to eat. I stop in front of the pretzels and start over-thinking things (as usual). The back of my leg feels tight so I bend over for a little stretch. When I raise back up I catch the eye of someone whose eyes aren't on my face. It's a woman and I think she is totally offended at my mid-aisle Yoga posing, until her eyes light up and she smiles at me in a way that makes do a double take. 

I give her an awkward smile back and bolt to the counter with the pretzels I didn't even remember grabbing. I'm standing in line and the dude in front of me thinks its a pharmacy because he's asking the clerk which kind of cold medicine she thinks is best for his symptoms! Gah! As I am (im)patiently waiting, I look around at the quaint local memorabilia. Hats, shirts, shot glasses that all say "I Heart Beaver." Like this:

I sort of giggle out loud, and then I hear another laugh behind me. Like really close behind me. I turn and it's the girl with the smile from the pretzel aisle. Of course it is. There are like four people at this truck stop.

It's finally my turn to pay and the clerk starts to make small talk with me. There's a bumper sticker with the same beaver loving heart...and I start to think it would be a really funny present for my husband, or one of my rowdy writer friends at the conference. So I grab it and hand it to the cashier and say sheepishly, "Hah...Beaver! It's so funny. I love it."

That's when the girl behind me chimes in, "Not as much as I do."

And yes, with the overt raise and her eyebrow, and the un-subtle ear to ear grin, I realized she was picking up on me. At a gas station in Beaver, Utah.

I smiled graciously as I pointed to my ring finger and excused myself from the city of Beaver. I was very flattered.

How was your weekend?

31 comments:

  1. Heh...mine wasn't quite -that- good :)

    Sounds like you had a very interesting trip...

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  2. What an interesting way to pick up women. LOL. Move to Beaver and hang out in truck stops. ;)

    Glad you had fun at the conference. Can't wait until May.

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  3. Oh my crap. Seriously? You're my favorite. And my husband always makes comments about that city when we're driving through it. You can imagine... Ha ha ha. :)

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  4. ha ha ha ha ha. I want a I LOVE BEAVER sticker now. And every time I see you, I totally want to bust it out and make some sort of inappropriate comment that, in turn, causes us both a great deal of awkwardness.

    Then I hope to be a future blog post.

    And I was drawing a uterus. Not something else explicit.

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  5. LOL! Did you really point to your ring?!?!

    It was fun to see you at the conference. You're always a hoot!

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  6. Of course she was checking you out! You're hot stuff! ;) I think you have a scene for a story somewhere in that truck stop experience...

    I'm glad you had fun at LTUE. I wish I could have been there.

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  7. Bahaha. It's awkward and flattering and oh so hilarious at the same time. What a fun story to have in your arsenal now. :)

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  8. That conference was SO MUCH FUN. I'm so glad you were willing to spend 12 hours in a car to come! It just wouldn't have been as awesome without you.

    And were I gay and single, I'd totally hit on you, too.

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  9. Next time, stop an hour earlier and I'll take you to get a Diet Coke at the place with the cow on the roof and let you get hit on my guys with belt buckles bigger than... never mind.

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  10. Ha ha! Oh, Jessie, I love you. But apparently not as much as that girl wanted to. ;)

    I'm sad I couldn't make it to LTUE this year. I would've loved to see you! Glad you had an awesome time.

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  11. How fun was LTUE?! Those poor boys stuck in the car with us...Can't wait for Storymakers! :)

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  12. Wow, I can't imagine how awkward that must have been. Man or woman, you had a ring on your finger! That must have been the first thing she noticed...okay, well, the second (after your loverly stretch, haha).

    It was great meeting you in person at the conference, Jessie!

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  13. Haha! That story. Wow. So fun to see you again!

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  14. See what happens when you start doing hot yoga in a convenience store???

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  15. Sounds like good times in Beaver.

    And Megan Whalen Turner was the keynote speaker? I'm envious.

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  16. Next, you'll be telling us you visited Middlesex while you were over here ;o)

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  17. Megan was awesome, wasn't she? I didn't make it to any of her panels, but her keynote was great.

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  18. Wow! Now you can cross off getting hit on at a truck stop off your bucket list :) Wish I could have been at LUTE :(

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  19. That Beaver story still cracks me up. I had to tell my husband and he was DYING! Hilarious!!!
    So fun to see you Jess, even if it was for a short bit. :)

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  20. It's stories like this that make me want to go to conferences. So glad to read it again! :)

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  21. Funny. Sounds like the conference was great too.

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  22. I'm sad I missed you and LTUE! See you in May??

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  23. I wish I'd been able to spend enough time at LTUE to actually look for people I might know electronically. I'm glad you came away with such a great story!

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  24. My family rolled our car in Beaver once. Fun times! So sad I couldn't go to LTUE sounds like you had fun :)

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  25. I love this story. Hilarious. It's the kind of thing you'd write in a book and someone would comment, "No one would actually say that." Except she totally did!! Thanks for the laugh.

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  26. LOL! You could easily slip that scene as is, straight into a book, it's hilarious.

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  27. Love it. I'm such a conference addict!

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  28. Omigosh, I totally would've made the same mistake about "the beaver"; I also thought it referred to the animal rather than...er...something else.

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  29. LOL! Way too funny (especially since I've stopped in that same gas station about a billion times doing that same drive--there's really good snacks at the cheese factory in town, btw, if you ever end up doing that again...). Thanks for the giggle!

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  30. Oh, those poor introverted boys stuck in the car with us. I think we scarred Tyler for life, and DPK told me he'd never forget the moment we all started singing Ke$ha. Hahaha. And that beaver story is the best. Loved seeing you and hanging out with you guys!

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