Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Critique Tuesday: A PitchWars Highlight

Jessie’s Bullets: Cock It and Pull It.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014
  • __***__ lbs. over/under Goal Weight (what's a "goal weight?")
  •  1050     Calories Consumed Yesterday (What? I was stressed!)
  • __4__ Units of Caffeinated (again...I was stressed...)
  • __40   Minutes Spent Writing (too stressed to write coherent sentences)
  • _0__Culinary Delights/Disasters Created With Own Hands (Pizza for lunch and Taco Bell for dinner it is!)
Critique Tuesday:
Queries are like a box of chocolates (cue the Forrest Gump scene):

Except in the case of writing, you never know if your going to get a pile of steaming crap (more likely) or a carefully crafted sample of writing that makes you want more (very rare).

In the case of the PitchWars submissions, I'd have to say there were very few piles of steaming crap. But alternately, very few nuggets of chocolate covered caramel flavored queries landed in my inbox. This is one of them, by Amy Trueblood:

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Dear Jessie,
After reading your wish list for a manuscript that has a main character who is both clever and has sass, I thought you might be interested in mentoring my YA Thriller, FIGHTING CHANCE. Good personalization. Nice. She has already set herself apart from over half of the participants.
Determined to prove her innocence, Nica works with Braeden, who is kind of cute when he isn't running his mouth, to investigate Slim's circle of friends. As she unearths a web of lies, she discovers everyone had a reason to want Slim dead, including Braeden whose dark secret puts a target on her back. Nice plot twist. With cops closing in, and no one left to trust, a desperate Nica hunts the killer alone. And when she unmasks the monster, she'll need more than a fighting chance to stay  alive. Clever wordsmithing to play off the title.
Stellar query letter. This is how it's done (in my humble opinion). Perfect length, professional on every level, does everything it needs to do for me to want to read the actual manuscript. 

An agent needs to pick this story up, eh?

Jessie With A Shot At The Night

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jessie:

    Thanks for sharing my query on your blog and for all your great feedback on my pages. I really appreciate it!