Monday, February 17, 2014

Killer Monday: Catching A Killer

Jessie’s Bullets: Cock It and Pull It.

Monday, February 17, 2014
  • __3__ Gratitudes (warm sand, happy kids, and good books-The Promise of Amazing by Robin Constantine was a great long-weekend read)
  • 1460    Calories Consumed Yesterday (including three bites of a fancy restaurant-prepared S'more--except this version had chocolate ice cream, a thick graham cracker cookie, and a broiled-to-perfection marshmallow)
  • __1__ Units of Caffeinated (or otherwise non-water) Beverages (WIN)
  • __1 hrs  Spent Writing (too busy reading to write :)
  • _0__  Culinary Delights/Disasters Created With Own Hands (FAIL)

You may or may not have noticed that the title of this post has changed ever so slightly. For the last six weeks, the title of my Monday posts has been: "Catching The Killers"--my catchy title for my crazy-stupid campaign to catch the rock band The Killers for my book's launch party. Well today, for the first time, the title has changed to: "Catching A Killer."

Dun. Dun. Dun...

"So....what does that mean?"you ask as your hands cover your mouth in alarm.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" I ask, an unreadable expression masks my face.

"The bad news, girl," you say. "Give it to me."

"Oh I'll give it to you," I say, and draw a deep breath before releasing it in an unbearably long fashion. "Looks like my dream of having The Killers play at my launch party is a no-go. I've talked to the band's manager, who's an incredibly nice dude, and it's just not a possibility at this current juncture."

"Oh, Jessie," you say, reaching out to comfort me with your strong and capable hands. "I'm so sorry."

"You want the good news now?" I say, patting your hand and casually moving away--I am happily married to Mr. Humphries after all.

"Ayite, girl," you say. "Please tell me some good news before I go binge-watch three seasons of DEXTER while binge-eating four gallons of ice cream to make myself feel better."

I nearly throw up in my mouth at the thought, before refocusing back to how spectacular the news actually is! "The good news is that even if the whole band The Killers can't make it, one particular Killer might be available for a solo gig--the lead singer Brandon Flowers."

You start screeching, and screaming, and flailing about. "Ohmygosh, ohmygawsh, ohmyfreakinggawwwwsh, Jessie!" you holler, and whoop, and make strange dance-like moves that might be considered twerking.

"Relax," I beg. "You're making a scene!"

"I'm just so happy," you say through tears of joy and sniffles of snot, melting into a puddle of your own bodily fluids. At which point I start walking away (from my strangely sensitive androgynous imaginary friend that represents my own internal thoughts and feelings).

So yes, while nothing is set in stone, no official legal documents have been signed, wherein Brandon Flowers is betrothed to my book launch festivities, it's looking good! Of course dates, venue, logistics, and a lot of other fun stuff still need to be discussed, but I'm taking this good news as a WIN.

(I feel like Lloyd from DUMB & DUMBER when he asks the hot chick what his chances are with her and she says, "one in a million." And he's over the moon when he replies, "So you're telling me there's a chance!")

Jessie With (an improving) Shot At The Night


  1. Flails. Screams. Hollers. Whoops. BRANDON FLOWERS!!!! :)

  2. Adding more tears of joy and sniffles of snot to the bodily fluid fangirl pile. THIS IS SO EXCITING! And I love the D&D reference (no, not Dungeons & Dragons...the other D&D), though I think your chances are much higher than that. :-)

  3. I love the Killers! A co-worker of mine from Vegas went to high school with a couple of members of the band. A few months ago, she was telling me how she got to go backstage and junk at one of their shows - I think it was in Tahoe? Anyways, want me to harass her and see if she is close enough to contact them and plead your case? I think she knows the drummer and one of the guitar players or something. :)

  4. That's so awesome!! I hope it all works out for you! :)

  5. i'd say if you can only catch one killer, that's the most important one! so cool!

  6. What?!?! That is so awesome, Jessie!

  7. So many things I love about this! Congrats!!! :D

  8. You had my reaction to a T!!! Whatever happens, this is a major win!! :)

  9. So incredibly awesome! I'm glad you calmed me down. I do tend to make scenes in public. I hope we can still be best friends after all of that flailing and screaming.

  10. Eeeek! So excited!! Doing the happy dance right now! Go Jessie!

  11. How exciting!! I love Brandon Flowers something fierce, and the Mister has quite the man crush on him. I hope he can do it!